What are you holding onto?
It's not often that we know the 'why?' behind every event, situation or problem. Even as a little girl I would wonder "Why this, God?" or "Why not?"... I just simply wanted to understand. As humans we tend to want to know the "why" so we can find a sense of security in whatever we're going through.
Perhaps you had a bad childhood; or made choices growing up you're not proud of; experienced relationships you wish never happened; and made decisions you still wonder to this day "Why did I do that?" or "What was I thinking?" It's impossible to go back and change what already happened.
It's the past...
The best gift you can give yourself is being in the present. Learning from your mistakes is all you can do to prepare yourself for a better tomorrow. Love yourself and forgive yourself, forgive others, and give life another chance today. Every success comes ONE day, ONE step, ONE choice at a time.